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Deed The Inky vs. The Nigerian Scammers

by Markasaurus on January 4, 2009 at 12:00 am
Posted In: Blog

ROUND ONE.

mrtankobama1960@Gazeta.pl wrote:

Dear Friend,
I am a financial consultant based in Cote d’Ivoire. I have a client (a widow) who has $18 million dollars with a private equity investment trust company for safe keeping only. She wishes to invest in a stable economy.
Her interest is in companies with potentials for rapid growth in long terms. My client is interested in placing her fund in your company, if your country’s bylaw allows foreign investment. I prefer you contact me for more details after reading this mail

Yours faithfully,
Mr. Tanko Bama

NB: The fund is free from drug and laundering related offences

mark@deedtheinky.com wrote:

Dear Mr. Bama,

Your message of June 5th was redirected to my office by Mr. Assward Bernstein, who, along with myself, looks after the personal interests of the popular musician Eric Clapton(tm), to whom your original message was addressed.
Mister Clapton is very interested in obtaining $18 million dollars by any means necessary, but has had some misfortune in the past. Responding to an e-mail similar to yours in the summer of 2005 eventually cost him over two hundred thousand dollars and forced us to cancel a Cream reunion tour. Perhaps you heard about this in the news at the time?

Anyway, as a gesture of goodwill, before proceeding Mister Clapton would like you to meet the following conditions -
1. Purchase a minimum of one hundred officially produced Eric Clapton(tm) albums on CD.
2. In a well-visited public area, attach the albums together so that they resemble the shape of a Large Man.
3. The man should be a minimum of 7 (seven) feet tall by 4 (four) feet wide, arms outstretched.
4. Photograph yourself next to this effigy giving a ‘thumbs up’ gesture (an example photo for your reference is attached to this e-mail) and return it to this e-mail address within 5 (five) working days.

These demands should not be difficult for a resourceful man like yourself to meet. They may seem somewhat eccentric but it is the only way that Eric Clapton(tm) will willingly conduct business after the previous debacle. We look forward to your timely response.

Yours sincerely,
Robert Face
CEO, The Eric Clapton(tm) Secret Laser Project Management Group Ltd.

ATTACHED FILES: thumbs-up.jpg


mrtankobama1960@Gazeta.pl wrote:

NO RESPONSE.

ROUND TWO.

faz8594@yahoo.com.hk wrote:

Hello,I am Ms.Faizah Khairul-Azizi,I am the only surviving daugther of late Mr & Mrs Khairul-Azizi who lost their lives in the india disaster that occured recently in New Delhi bombings.I was contacted through a diplomatic firm that he deposited the sum of $11.4 Million Dollars in their custody. Please i need your assistance to claim and invest this fund into any viable venture in your country which you know that will yield us profit. For quick processing of this fund if you accept my offer, I will avail you a reputable Attorney information who will execute all procedures on our behalf,lf you will help me, i promise to offer you 25%. Please kindly send me your detail informations such as your full name,phone and fax number and your contact address,so that the processing of the claim can effectly be commenced by you with the aid of the attorney.And i am looking forward to your favourable reply.Sincerely,Ms.Faizah Khairul-Azizi

mark@deedtheinky.com wrote:

It is a great coincidence that you wrote to me! I think we are in a position to help each other out. I was recently a participant in a series of genetic tests carried out on an offshore research base near North Korea. These tests failed to cure my vertigo, but as an unexpected side-effect I can now spontaneously produce gold from my body. This actually turned out to be more of a curse than a blessing, because nobody will buy my gold, partly because it is apparently ‘gross’, but also for fear of destabilising the gold market. So I need cash.

What I am willing to do is the following – if you are prepared to send me the $11.4 million in cash, I will in exchange send you $50 million of my own gold! This is a fantastic opportunity, I’m sure you will agree! You could almost triple your money!

If you are interested, please e-mail me back and I will send you my address.. You will be required to send the money via Air Mail in a briefcase, along with a pair of pants. The gold production process tends to ruin a lot of pants.

Yours Sincerely

Midas Goldman

faz8594@yahoo.com.hk wrote:

Thanks for your reply and i hope to receive your full details informations as requested. Thanks and hurry up please with it.Can you travel to Europe and collect the money in person?
Ms.Faizah.

mark@deedtheinky.com wrote:

Excellent! My full address is -

143 Goldway Crescent
Goldsville, Goldtown
Goldtopia
USA

It is not as nice as it sounds. Please mail me the $11 million dollars immediately, along with the pants. Please be aware, if you forget to include the pants you will forfeit the money. I am so sick of buying pants. Seriously.

Seriously.

Good luck my friend.

Midas Goldman

faz8594@yahoo.com.hk wrote:

NO RESPONSE.

└ Tags: 2009, nigerian scammers
  Comment

Holy Crap!

by Markasaurus on January 3, 2009 at 12:00 am
Posted In: Blog

If you head over to Is It Funny Today right now, the top three webcomics for the last 24 hours are xkcd, Dinosaur Comics and Deed The Inky! Thanks to everybody who voted for us, you guys are made of awesome. :O BONUS VANITY: I know it will be gone soon, so I grabbed a picture of it…


└ Tags: 2009, holy crap, is it funny today
  Comment

Brand New Looking Website!

by Markasaurus on January 1, 2009 at 12:00 am
Posted In: Blog

So it’s January first, the time of year when I traditionally get sick of how Deed The Inky looks and redesign the whole thing. This time I went pretty hard and added a whole assload of possibly useful things though! First up is the RSS feed which had actually been running for a couple of weeks already. If you want to get new Deed The Inky cartoons in your email or whatever RSS thinger you use, click on the little RSS icon in the address bar or use this link… http://www.deedtheinky.com/deedtheinky_rss.xml. NEXT is a button under the frame where you can look at some random cartoons from the archives. Turns out that is kind of a pain in the ass to implement on a website, but I did it anyway because I love.

Uhm… what else? The cartoons are going to be bigger and widescreen-ier now. Also the store will be going very soon. I am hunting out printers, getting samples etc etc. Turns out that selling T-Shirts on the internets actually takes a bit of sorting out. Then last and possibly least there is the mobile site at m.deedtheinky.com where you can look at cartoons on your iPhones and whatnot. That last one might actually turn out to totally suck but I guess we’ll see!

└ Tags: 2009, website redesign
  Comment

Good Job, China

by Markasaurus on September 23, 2008 at 12:00 am
Posted In: Blog

I outsourced my business card printing to China, hoping that they would be back by Sunday (see post below) and they finally arrived! They are actually much classier-looking than I though they’d be.

You can’t really see it in the photo, but the monster and Richard Nixon both have Spot UV printing, so they are shiny like a book cover. The minimum order was for 300, and I estimate the readership of this site to be about 20, so if you ever meet me I will probably give you like a dozen business cards.

└ Tags: 2008, awesome, business cards, china, monstering, richard nixon
  Comment

“Die, Dracula, Die” Is Playing At The Edmonton Film Festival In One Week!

by Markasaurus on September 21, 2008 at 12:00 am
Posted In: Blog

Holy crap! I didn’t mention this sooner because I was sick/not on the internets, but on September 28th “Die Dracula Die” is going to play at the 2008 Edmonton International Film Festival! At like a proper theatre and everything. Plus, perhaps most terrifyingly of all, I am allowed to do a director’s Q&A. I actually did this last year too, for “Frankenstein”, but this year I intend to be drunk! Trust me, I am funnier when I am drunk.

Anyway, they sent me an “Official Selection” decal, so now I am allowed to do shit like this…..

I will let you know how it goes.

└ Tags: 2008, die dracula die, edmonton film festival
  Comment

A Scientific Study Into The Effects Of Prolonged Exposure To Red Stripe On Bipeds

by Markasaurus on June 5, 2008 at 12:00 am
Posted In: Blog

Also pictured: a Toothpaste For Dinner shirt.

└ Tags: 2008, pirate, Toothpaste For Dinner
  Comment

Willing Vandalism Into Existence

by Markasaurus on June 4, 2008 at 12:00 am
Posted In: Blog

So the place where I work is right across the street from a McDonalds. Because it is not across the street from anything else, I end up going to McDonalds way more than is good for a person (also known as AT ALL.) A few weeks back I noticed that they had a sign that was optimistically informing people about the deliciousness of their new burger, the Angus Burger. Now, if your mind works the same way as my mind works, you will have instantly seen the very peurile-but-still-funny joke that immediately presents itself there. If, also like me you spend eight hours a day with a giant Angus Burger sign directly in your field of view, just begging to be defaced, but you don’t have the means/balls to climb up it and make the necessary adjustments yourself in broad daylight, you too would be disheartened.

Then yesterday, it finally happened…

It doesn’t happen very often, but sometimes the rest of the world is on the exact same wavelength as I am.

Glorious.

└ Tags: 2008, anus burger, macdonalds
  Comment

Bonus Cartoon

by Markasaurus on May 22, 2008 at 12:00 am
Posted In: Blog

To kick off what is sure to be a rarely updated and shoddily presented blog, here is a little bonus comic for you. It is a picture of a monster breathing fire on a robot, which is retaliating by firing pirates and ninjas at it. the image was specially designed to appeal to the Internet. As you are reading this on the Internet, enjoy.


└ Tags: 2008, awesome, bonus cartoon, dinosaur, ninja, pirate, robot
  Comment
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