Be SUPER careful. You might accidentally sacrifice yourself to a Volcano God and someone could get smited. Or a village will get some crops or a strong baby or something. I don’t know all the legal loopholes.
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Archive for ‘January, 2009’
12 results.
I have all these plans for epic post-death things, but they all seem frustratingly impossible because of common sense and/or physics. Other plans include having my body given to the Body Worlds guy for plastination, then having the body taken back, melted and turned into a statue of myself doing the White Guy Thumbs Up.
My second choice for a superpower would be flying. That’d be awesome, until I accidentally Superman into a Boeing 747 like some kind of mad, errant goose. Seems like the kind of thing I would do.
Apparently people thought the guy on the left was like a leprechaun or something. He’s supposed to be a dude in safari gear. Stupid colour blindness.
This was the last I ever heard about this album. As I write this, it is January 2010.
In 2002 I got stuck in an airport in France with Lee Demarbre (Director of the awesome Jesus Christ – Vampire Hunter) and he told me that no bad movie has ever had a Dragon or a Rocket Launcher in it. Food for thought.
ROUND ONE.
mrtankobama1960@Gazeta.pl wrote:
Dear Friend,
I am a financial consultant based in Cote d’Ivoire. I have a client (a widow) who has $18 million dollars with a private equity investment trust company for safe keeping only. She wishes to invest in a stable economy.
Her interest is in companies with potentials for rapid growth in long terms. My client is interested in placing her fund in your company, if your country’s bylaw allows foreign investment. I prefer you contact me for more details after reading this mailYours faithfully,
Mr. Tanko BamaNB: The fund is free from drug and laundering related offences
mark@deedtheinky.com wrote:
Dear Mr. Bama,
Your message of June 5th was redirected to my office by Mr. Assward Bernstein, who, along with myself, looks after the personal interests of the popular musician Eric Clapton(tm), to whom your original message was addressed.
Mister Clapton is very interested in obtaining $18 million dollars by any means necessary, but has had some misfortune in the past. Responding to an e-mail similar to yours in the summer of 2005 eventually cost him over two hundred thousand dollars and forced us to cancel a Cream reunion tour. Perhaps you heard about this in the news at the time?Anyway, as a gesture of goodwill, before proceeding Mister Clapton would like you to meet the following conditions -
1. Purchase a minimum of one hundred officially produced Eric Clapton(tm) albums on CD.
2. In a well-visited public area, attach the albums together so that they resemble the shape of a Large Man.
3. The man should be a minimum of 7 (seven) feet tall by 4 (four) feet wide, arms outstretched.
4. Photograph yourself next to this effigy giving a ‘thumbs up’ gesture (an example photo for your reference is attached to this e-mail) and return it to this e-mail address within 5 (five) working days.These demands should not be difficult for a resourceful man like yourself to meet. They may seem somewhat eccentric but it is the only way that Eric Clapton(tm) will willingly conduct business after the previous debacle. We look forward to your timely response.
Yours sincerely,
Robert Face
CEO, The Eric Clapton(tm) Secret Laser Project Management Group Ltd.ATTACHED FILES: thumbs-up.jpg
mrtankobama1960@Gazeta.pl wrote:
NO RESPONSE.
ROUND TWO.
faz8594@yahoo.com.hk wrote:
Hello,I am Ms.Faizah Khairul-Azizi,I am the only surviving daugther of late Mr & Mrs Khairul-Azizi who lost their lives in the india disaster that occured recently in New Delhi bombings.I was contacted through a diplomatic firm that he deposited the sum of $11.4 Million Dollars in their custody. Please i need your assistance to claim and invest this fund into any viable venture in your country which you know that will yield us profit. For quick processing of this fund if you accept my offer, I will avail you a reputable Attorney information who will execute all procedures on our behalf,lf you will help me, i promise to offer you 25%. Please kindly send me your detail informations such as your full name,phone and fax number and your contact address,so that the processing of the claim can effectly be commenced by you with the aid of the attorney.And i am looking forward to your favourable reply.Sincerely,Ms.Faizah Khairul-Azizi
mark@deedtheinky.com wrote:
It is a great coincidence that you wrote to me! I think we are in a position to help each other out. I was recently a participant in a series of genetic tests carried out on an offshore research base near North Korea. These tests failed to cure my vertigo, but as an unexpected side-effect I can now spontaneously produce gold from my body. This actually turned out to be more of a curse than a blessing, because nobody will buy my gold, partly because it is apparently ‘gross’, but also for fear of destabilising the gold market. So I need cash.
What I am willing to do is the following – if you are prepared to send me the $11.4 million in cash, I will in exchange send you $50 million of my own gold! This is a fantastic opportunity, I’m sure you will agree! You could almost triple your money!
If you are interested, please e-mail me back and I will send you my address.. You will be required to send the money via Air Mail in a briefcase, along with a pair of pants. The gold production process tends to ruin a lot of pants.
Yours Sincerely
Midas Goldman
faz8594@yahoo.com.hk wrote:
Thanks for your reply and i hope to receive your full details informations as requested. Thanks and hurry up please with it.Can you travel to Europe and collect the money in person?
Ms.Faizah.
mark@deedtheinky.com wrote:
Excellent! My full address is -
143 Goldway Crescent
Goldsville, Goldtown
Goldtopia
USAIt is not as nice as it sounds. Please mail me the $11 million dollars immediately, along with the pants. Please be aware, if you forget to include the pants you will forfeit the money. I am so sick of buying pants. Seriously.
Seriously.
Good luck my friend.
Midas Goldman
faz8594@yahoo.com.hk wrote:
NO RESPONSE.
If you head over to Is It Funny Today right now, the top three webcomics for the last 24 hours are xkcd, Dinosaur Comics and Deed The Inky! Thanks to everybody who voted for us, you guys are made of awesome. :O BONUS VANITY: I know it will be gone soon, so I grabbed a picture of it…
We’ve come a long way since the 90′s, when scientists first cloned a sheep that flipped people off all the time.